Introduction

I am merely the victim of a desperate generation. If you look all around at those of my generation and the generation after, you will see one common thread. Searching. We are all searching for something. And because we are all searching, we are all addicted. The addictions may vary, but everyone has something. For many it has become an unsatiable sex life even at a young age. For others it has become the allure of drugs or alcohol. Some are cutting. Some are chasing fame and fortune, obsessed with Hollywood and all things fabulous. Some need money and will do anything to get it. Some are addicted to a poor lifestyle, living off of welfare or always caught up in some kind of drama. It's all the same. Addiction is addiction. We FEED on it. It is our lifesource because nothing we can find is better. Then there's those of us who have become addicted to a lethargic lifestyle.

Yes...I mean those of us who are fat. Or should I say obese to be polite? We are the ones who didn't satisfy ourselves with constant he say, she say drama growing up. Instead, we were more content to turn on the television or computer and eat as we did our thing. That's where I am. And while I am grateful I fell into this addiction and not any of the others mentioned, it is still an emptiness all its own. Yo-yo dieting. Judgmental stares, endless fat jokes. Let's face it...fat people can be looked down on my many like they have some sort of contagious disease that warrants them to be treated differently!

I should know. I've been considered obese all my life. And now, as a twenty-something college student, I'm DONE. I don't care what people think of my weight. I CARE about my health and happiness. Being fat sucks and it's time to stop living desperately. I am a born again Christian, and I have found hope in Jesus Christ. I don't buy the lie that God doesn't exist. I have not let humanism grasp its ugly claws into me despite having a public education and despite the fact that it seems mass media is trying its hardest to exile Christianity. No. I believe, and I know better that if people would stop trying so hard to fit into the brand of non-thinking robots that a non-believing society has formed, they would see that the thing they are searching for is HIM.

And yet, here I am. Just as desperate. Just as addicted to something. Why? Because, I am human. I may believe in Jesus and God, but I fall short. Thankfully, my addiction won't keep me from the kingdom of heaven. Still, it's an addiction, and I want freedom. Therefore, I've decided, the weight will come off. So, here is where I will chronicle my journey. It will contain my thoughts on losing weight from a Christian's point of view, from a young Christian's point of view. Along the way, I hope to learn more about myself as well.

This is my belle aurore: my beautiful dawn.